Is spanking necessary or right? (Call this irreverent but relevant or call it an opinion from a long time mom).
You can’t teach a child non-violence and how to have heartfelt conversations by role modeling close minded violence. There are plenty of different ways to use then to resort to spanking. Spanking is reaction and a lack of understanding of a parent or caregiver who doesn’t know any other method.
Sometimes there’s a belief that it’s ok because they were spanked as a child. Sometimes it’s a means of relief for the parents anger and frustration and not for the well-being of the child. There is a difference between discipline and punishment.
I raised 4 kids plus a foster child, and learned many other ways to discipline through trial and error.
I had been harshly spanked as a child/teen and it only taught me that it wasn’t safe to say no. I took that into my adulthood and thought that was functional and normal. And I put up with 2 abusive relationships where it was also unsafe to say no. One day I stood up and said no and it took me decades to do it.
So if anyone is frustrated and uses spanking because they aren’t creative, ask me how I did it and my tips and tricks to get cooperation and collaboration.
Teaching kids how to establish cooperation and collaboration within relationships is a skill we want to teach our kids for their future use. It can only be learned with practice. Kids are like little sponges, they absorb everything that they see, do and experience. It shapes their values and beliefs and can lead to mental habits and patterns that result in the inability to get what they want to experience in life. It teaches values that holds them back from enjoying life because they are their own worse enemy.
So if you think something repetitive like spanking doesn’t wire the brain of a growing mind, think again. It only establishes pathways through the primitive brain rather than help the problem solving prefrontal cortex to develop up until they are 26 or so years old. We are shaping our kids minds and trying to help them think and problem solve rather than going through life reacting to stress.
It’s tricky raising kids and no one is perfect. But with a little more caring in the world, we can make it a better place, one little heart at a time. Love is as love does. Love is a verb. Sometimes you may think it’s the only thing that works but again that is because of many other reasons as discussed above.
Learn to say no to kids inappropriate behaviour by talking and doing other things. Patience is an art form well worth the learning.